Beyond Bubble Baths: Self-Care is Your Schedule, Not Your Spa Days.
The Hidden Cost of Burnout Culture
A January afternoon, several years ago - I sat at my kitchen table - cluttered with papers, a half-empty mug of lukewarm tea, the tax office website open on my computer screen…
As I made my way, line by line through my credit card statement, it revealed the costly story of overfunctioning — an itemisation of expenses that spoke of trying to keep going, one massage, one convenience meal at a time.
£80 for a massage to ease my chronic neck pain, £65 for acupuncture to heal my hormonal issues, £45 for a restorative yoga class to manage my stress.
Scattered between these were the daily attempts at comfort - £30 for takeaway when I was too tired to cook, £40 at that lovely wine bar where I'd decompress after long days, £20 for lunch out because I hadn't made time to prepare food.
For most of my adult life, I'd spent thousands a year, trying to recover from the daily grind.
These weren't luxuries to me then, they felt like survival essentials.
My calendar was packed with back-to-back commitments - client calls, team meetings, project deadlines, family commitments.
By the end of each week, I felt wrung out, exhausted, desperate.
And my depleted bank account revealed the painful truth:
I was paying premium rates to maintain a lifestyle that was fundamentally bankrupt.
All those massages, treatments, and glasses of wine were treating the symptoms of a deeper issue - I'd built a life that required constant recovery.
And somehow I’d been convinced that this was what self-care looked like.
From Recovery Mode to Intentional Living
That moment at my kitchen table changed everything.
It was then that I made a decision: I would create a life I didn't need to recover from.
The words rang in my head: live by design, not by default.
I shifted my focus from expensive emergency treatments to something far more valuable - my time.
Instead of throwing money at the problem after I'd burned myself out, I started proactively protecting my time and energy.
This transformed my entire approach to caring for myself.
Rather than desperately seeking recovery from exhaustion, I began designing my days with intention.
My calendar became a powerful tool for protecting my wellbeing, not just a list of demands on my energy.
How to Design Your Schedule Like it’s a Sanctuary
Now I design my schedule like it’s a sanctuary - intentionally designing, and curating the activities of my life so that I enjoy and am filled up by them.
This means things like:
Blocking out dedicated time for rest and creative work before my calendar fills up with other commitments
Setting clear boundaries around my availability instead of being constantly "on call"
Creating spacious transitions between activities rather than packing everything back-to-back
Scheduling tasks based on my natural energy rhythms and my natural preferences rather than forcing myself to push through against my nature
The Real Meaning of Self-Care
This is what real self-care looks like - it's not what you see on Instagram.
While the wellness industry sells us bubble baths and spa days, true self-care happens in small, daily choices that most people never see.
It's setting firm boundaries around your working hours. It's turning down an exciting opportunity because you know it will drain you. It's blocking out Wednesday afternoons for rest, even when you have eleventy-million other things vying for your attention.
Since making these changes in my own life, the impact has been huge.
My weekends no longer feel like recovery zones.
Instead of crawling to Friday, depleted and resentful, I arrive feeling energised and ready to enjoy the weekend.
My work is more inspired because I'm operating from a place of fullness rather than exhaustion.
My relationships have deepened because I'm more intentional about where my energy goes and how I show up for the people I care about.
This shift isn’t easy.
As women, we carry generations of conditioning that tell us everyone else's needs should come before our own.
The first time I blocked out a whole morning just for myself, I felt sick with guilt.
But that discomfort is precisely why protecting our time matters so much.
By claiming our time and intentionally designing our lives, we're dismantling centuries of conditioning that taught us our time wasn't our own.
How to Start Designing Your Life (Even if It Feels Impossible Right Now)
Reclaiming your time and energy doesn't happen overnight, but here are four foundational shifts to begin:
Step 1: Get Clear on What You Actually Want
Women are so conditioned to meet external expectations that they struggle to name what they truly desire.
Ask yourself:
If there were no demands on me and I weren't afraid of disappointing anyone, how would I spend my time?
What brings me joy and makes me feel relaxed, confident, expansive?
What do I want my days to feel like? (Not in the future. Today!)
Step 2: Make Non-Negotiable Time for Yourself First
Structure follows sovereignty. Take ownership of your time. You have to decide that your time matters before anyone else will respect it.
Try:
Blocking out sacred time each day for creativity, movement, or rest
Treating personal priorities as seriously as work or family commitments. Put it in the diary the same way you would another meeting.
Saying no to anything that drains your energy unnecessarily
Step 3: Create Boundaries Like you’re the CEO of your life, Not an Employee of Everyone Else's Needs.
If you let others dictate your schedule, you'll always be last on the list.
Start:
Saying no more often
Protecting time for deep work or personal priorities
Delegating or letting go of obligations that aren't yours to carry
Step 4: Shift from Urgency to Intention
Our culture glorifies urgency and busyness, but real success comes from spaciousness.
Instead of constantly reacting, start:
Practicing minimalism with your commitments
Taking a breath and moving slower and more intentionally with your yes.
Prioritising what actually moves the needle on your dreams and ambitions.
Moving From Emergency Self-Care to Sustainable, Sacred Living
These days, I still love a massage or a fancy dinner out.
The difference?
I'm not desperately seeking recovery anymore - I'm actually savouring the experience.
My bank statements tell a different story now.
Instead of a litany of emergency self-care purchases, they reflect a life designed with intention.
A life where rest isn't an expensive afterthought, but woven into the fabric of my days.
This is what real self-care looks like: not a plaster over burnout, but a solid foundation for a life that doesn't require constant recovery.
If you would like to learn the method I used to do just this, I’ve put all I used and know into my new programme Time Alchemy.
Join us below!
