Beyond Numbing: The Difference Between Checking Out and True Rest
We all know the experience - it's been a long full day of other people’s demands, time pressure and hard work, and you find yourself finally alone… scrolling mindlessly through social media or binge-watching another series.
Your body is still, but your mind is still wired, your nervous system hums, like it’s driven by a motor.
Hours pass, and somehow you feel more exhausted than before.
~ In this article ~
The Numbing Trap: Why We Mistake Checking Out for Rest
Understanding the Exhaustion-Collapse Cycle
The Different Types of Rest Your Body Actually Craves
What True Restoration Feels and Looks Like
From Emergency Recovery to Intentional Renewal
~
The Numbing Trap: Why We Mistake Checking Out for Rest
Most of what we call "resting" or relaxation in our culture is actually numbing.
The distinction is crucial:
Numbing disconnects us from our bodies
True rest deepens our connection to ourselves
Numbing creates a false sense of escape
Rest offers genuine renewal and restoration
Why do we confuse the two?
Because numbing offers immediate relief.
It's the path of least resistance when we're overwhelmed.
It’s a clever skill our body-minds can use, to remove us from the present moment situation - sometimes this is really useful and necessary.
But it never truly satisfies our deeper needs.
And it can become unhelpful when it’s overused.
The Exhaustion-Collapse Cycle
Many of us are caught in a pattern that looks like this:
Push beyond our limits
Hit a wall of exhaustion
Collapse into passive numbing activities (scrolling, watching, consuming)
Feel guilty about "wasting time" and yucky from the experience of it.
Push harder to make up for it
Repeat
This isn't a cycle of rest and renewal - it's a cycle of depletion and numbing.
And we often don't recognise we're in it until we're completely burnt out.
The Different Types of Rest Your Body Actually Craves
There are lots of different types of rest.
And your wide body seeks a variety of forms of restoration:
Physical Rest:
Deep sleep
Gentle movement
Physical stillness
Mental Rest:
Meditation
Time in nature
Periods of silence
Play
Sensory Rest:
Darkness
Quiet
Freedom from screens
Creative Rest:
Appreciation of beauty
Exposure to art
Time for wonder
Emotional Rest:
Authentic expression
Safe relationships
Permission to feel your feelings
And, depending on what you spend most of your time doing, there’ll be other types of rest that are necessary for you too.
For example: if you spend a lot of time around people and noisy environments, rest for you might look like introversion, however, if you live and work alone, rest might be connecting with others.
What True Restoration Feels Like
You’ll be able to tell if you’ve found true restoration, as it has a distinct flavour that sets it apart from numbing:
You feel more embodied, not less
Your nervous system settles and relaxes
Your mind becomes clearer and brighter, not foggy
You experience a sense of returning home to yourself
Your energy builds rather than drains
Time feels abundant rather than wasted
You finish feeling renewed and replenished
Moving from Emergency Recovery to Intentional Renewal
The shift from collapse-based rest to intentional renewal requires a fundamental change in how we view rest itself.
Here's how to begin:
Create Restful Rhythms:
Schedule rest in your diary first, before exhaustion hits
Build regular restoration points into your day
Honour these appointments as seriously as work commitments
Design Your Rest Menu:
Pay attention and identify the activities that truly restore you
Create different options for different rest needs
Make these easily accessible for when you don’t have the energy to make decisions
Notice Your Numbing Patterns:
Track when you tend to check out and how it feels
Identify your common numbing behaviours
Get curious about what need is actually present in these moments. You can do this by taking a pause and asking the body “what’s present here? What am I trying to avoid feeling”? Whatever arises, let it know “it’s okay, you belong here, what do you really need?” … and see what shifts.
Practice Micro-Moments of Rest:
30-second breath breaks
5-minute nature pauses
10-minute meditation snippets
Build Your Rest Capacity (Rest is so very counter-cultural and often tricky to do without feeling guilty):
Start small and consistent
Gradually extend your restful periods
Notice and celebrate the benefits
Your Invitation to True Rest
This Winter, I’m hosting a container where we dive into all of this and more.
What's one numbing habit you could transform into a genuine rest practice this week?
Bring this inquiry with you into "Rest and Receive" - a cozy six-week winter container for ambitious women who've worked hard all year and are longing to reconnect with what truly matters for 2025.
Through guided weekly practice and live 'wild idling' sessions, we'll create sacred space for you to exhale, process, contemplate, and access your deepest wisdom. No performance metrics, no optimization - just pure, nourishing restoration.
Experience a more relaxed festive season, and start 2025 replenished and reconnected.
Because when we learn to rest properly, we don't just feel better - we become more resilient, more creative, and more able to show up fully for the work that matters to us.
Live sessions begin December 11th 2024, Tuesdays 5:30-7:00pm UK time.
All sessions: December: 11th & 18th, January: 8th, 15th & 22nd
