Beyond Overwhelm: The Transformative Magic of Idling for High-Achieving Women
Last weekend, a dear friend arrived at my door, shoulders tense from a week of deadlines and decisions in her full and busy London life, the beginnings of a seasonal cold brewing.
As she stepped inside my cottage, I could feel her exhale begin - the sweet release of knowing she could fully rest somewhere.
We spent the weekend in the gentlest way possible.
She curled up with her book in front of the fire, while I pottered in the kitchen. In the evenings we lay in the sauna, letting our bones be heavy. At times she picked up her penny whistle and sweet Christmas melodies drifted through the house.
No agenda.
No need to achieve anything.
Just permission to be and to follow whatever called to us in the moment.
By Sunday, her whole being had softened. Her movements became slower, more fluid. Her voice dropped into a deeper register, and her natural and abundant creativity returned - ideas and insights bubbling up effortlessly in our meandering conversations.
We solved some gnarly personal issues with surprising ease after a few hours rest!
This is what I call sacred idling - those precious pockets of time where we grant ourselves permission to simply be.
To rest in the presence of another person without any need to perform or produce.
To let our minds wander where they will.
Sacred idling has become absolutely vital to how I run my business and live my life.
My most aligned decisions, freshest creative ideas, and clearest strategic insights rarely arrive when I'm pushing myself hard at my desk.
Instead, they emerge in these deliberate pockets of unstructured time - during long baths, meandering walks, or hours spent simply being with dear friends.
Recently, a friend who works in policy-making shared something that stopped me in my tracks. "The speed at which we're making decisions these days is ruining the quality of our policies," she told me. "There's no space for wisdom to emerge, no time to let ideas mature. We're constantly reacting at a fast pace rather than deeply considering."
Technology is making us faster, but wisdom does not emerge at speed.
Winter holds particular wisdom about this practice.
While our culture races toward year-end targets and holiday frenzy, the natural world is drawing inward. Trees withdraw their energy to their roots. Animals slow their metabolisms. The earth itself grows still and quiet beneath the cold.
My own relationship with winter changed profoundly when I began paying attention to nature's rhythms. I noticed how my creative energy is deeper, more introverted in these darker months. How my body craves more sleep, more quiet, more gentle contemplation. How my mind benefits from periods of lying fallow - not pushing to generate new ideas but allowing them to germinate slowly in the dark.
The practice itself is beautifully simple.
We gather together in shared restful silence.
No tasks, no goals, no striving to achieve or become anything.
Just permission to daydream, doodle, nap, read poetry, or gaze out of the window. To follow whatever calls to us in the moment.
The power lies in the container - women holding space for each other to simply be.
In a world that constantly demands our productivity and care-giving, there's something revolutionary about claiming time for spacious contemplation. About saying: this hour is for dreaming, for wondering, for letting my mind and heart wander where they will.
Women need more time for this!
This apparent "doing nothing" is actually the most vital ‘work’ we can do - of replenishment, of reconnection, of remembering who we are beneath all our roles and responsibilities, of accessing our deeper wisdom beneath all the noise.
This isn't about abandoning ambitions or giving up on goals.
Rather, it's about resourcing ourselves deeply so we can pursue those dreams from a place of genuine alignment and sustainable energy.
When we make regular space for this ‘beingness’, our whole lives begin to feel different:
Work flows more easily.
Creativity expands naturally.
We connected to ourselves and our essence more fully.
Conversations and relationships deepen.
Our capacity expands.
Given what might lie ahead for the world in 2025, this practice of sacred idling takes on even greater significance.
Winter asks us to slow down, reflect, and be deeply present to reality.
For me, this isn't just personal restoration - it's a form of civic and spiritual duty. My commitment to co-creating a more just and equitable world requires me to enter the new year as resourced, clear, and strong as possible.
When we give ourselves permission to stop doing and simply be, we open to the gifts that can only arrive in slowness and stillness.
Our creative wells refill. Our inner wisdom grows clearer. We remember who we are beneath all the roles we play.
Your Invitation This Winter
As the days grow shorter and winter beckons, I invite you to carve out your own sacred idling time. You might begin small - an hour on a Sunday afternoon, a quiet evening with no plans, a morning where you let yourself wake slowly and dream.
Create a space that feels delicious to you. Perhaps gather soft blankets, light candles, brew your favourite tea. Let yourself follow the threads of your own curiosity. Read poetry. Gaze out of windows. Draw in your journal. Or simply sit in sweet silence.
Notice what emerges when you grant yourself this spaciousness. What whispers to you in the quiet? What dreams surface when you stop pushing? What wisdom arrives when you allow yourself to simply be?
Remember - this isn't indulgence. This is essential nourishment for your soul and your work in the world. This is how we resource ourselves for the year ahead. This is how we tap into our deepest wisdom and most aligned path forward.
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Want support to rest deeply and idle wildly this winter? Join me for Rest & Receive, where we'll gather weekly for guided wild idling sessions.
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