The Myth of 'There': How Future-Living Steals Our Peace and Power.
So many brilliant women I work with are living for 'there'.
That mythical future place where everything finally falls into place.
Where the to-list is complete.
Where they’ll finally have proved themselves enough.
Where they can finally rest.
~ In this article ~
Living for 'There'
The Cultural Conditioning
Breaking Free from Future-Living
A Different Way of Holding Ambition
Your Invitation to Present Power
Living for 'There'
I used to date a guy who loved to hike.
Every weekend, we'd head out somewhere beautiful for a day of walking.
However, each time it would quickly take on the flavour of a military style exercise … 15 miles to complete, ‘Roman Marching pace’, pushing on to the next milestone before taking a break.
I don’t remember these days as joyful or full of connection - because they were so often just focussed achieving the target distance, reaching the designated endpoint.
I remember watching him stride ahead, head down, focused on the path directly in front of him and although it was kind of inspiring, he often missed the small moments - the way morning light caught the dewdrops on spider webs, the sudden flash of a deer between trees, the changing patterns of clouds above us. Everything that made the walk beautiful, was lost in his determination to complete it to ‘get it over with’.
In which case, I wonder … what’s the point?
~
How many of us are living like this though … always racing toward a destination as if the end is all that matters?
"When I reach six figures..."
"Once I finish this project..."
"After my kids start school / leave home ..."
Then I’ll ….. (fill in the desire).
I see it in almost every woman I work with - this constant sense that we're not quite where we should be.
That if we just push a little harder, work a little more, grind a little longer, prove ourselves a little further... then finally we'll arrive.
The Cultural Conditioning
'There' is an illusion. It’s a mirage that disappears as it comes into view.
It’s a cultural story designed to keep us constantly striving.
Forever reaching. Never arriving. Never feeling contented or peaceful or enough.
‘There’ a moving target. A horizon that keeps receding.
The moment we get ‘there’ we realise it’s a false peak, and another appears in the distance, beckoning us forward into more striving.
This isn't really about goal-setting or ambition. (I’m a fan of both).
But rather about the systems that profit from our constant sense of not-enough-ness.
The culture that keep us too busy rushing toward the future to notice our power in the present.
Breaking Free from Future-Living
What if, instead of constantly reaching for 'there', we dared to actually be here?
What if, instead of viewing time as something to get through, we experienced it as something to fully inhabit?
What if our worth wasn't waiting for us in some future achievement, but living in our bones right now?
How would we show up differently? How might we live? What might we do?
When we're constantly living for 'there':
Our creativity gets squeezed into future promises
Our natural rhythm gets overridden by future urgency
Our present power gets sacrificed to future worthiness
Our real life today gets postponed for a imaginary promised one tomorrow.
A Different Way of Holding Ambition
I don’t want us to abandon our dreams or dampening our ambition. Far from it.
But, I do want us to embody a different way of holding our visions.
A way that doesn't require our self-abandonment.
A way that allows us to be both in our becoming and in our ‘already enoughness’
I want us to:
Move towards our dreams from fullness rather than lack
Create our work from presence rather than pressure
Expand and grow from essence rather than effort
Build better future possibilities, while fully inhabiting our present power.
Your Invitation to Present Power
A different life isn't waiting for you 'there'.
The thing you crave isn't embedded in some future achievement.
Your power isn't in who you'll become.
It's in who you are, right now.
This is about more than just "living in the now."
This is about breaking the spell that keeps us perpetually reaching.
This is about reclaiming our inherent worth from the future tense.
This is about remembering that our magic isn't waiting for us when we get 'there' - it's alive and available to us right now.
Our task is to get present enough to claim it.
How I can help you embody this approach:
"Rest and Receive" - a cozy six-week winter container for ambitious women who've worked hard all year and are longing to reconnect with what truly matters for 2025.
Through guided weekly practice and live 'wild idling' sessions, we'll create sacred space for you to exhale, process, contemplate, and access your deepest wisdom. No performance metrics, no optimization - just pure, nourishing restoration.
Experience a more relaxed festive season, and start 2025 replenished and reconnected.
Live sessions begin December 11th 2024, Tuesdays 5:30-7:00pm UK time.
All sessions: December: 11th & 18th, January: 8th, 15th & 22nd