Why are we all so exhausted? Women, overfunctioning, and reclaiming a more sacred life.
We’re all working so damn hard aren’t we?
And yet, as far as I can tell, true happiness doesn’t actually come with achieving more … but rather, in reclaiming the sacredness of our daily lives: our time, our bodies, and our labour.
At the heart of my work is the reclamation of the sacred.
Call it what you will - the holy, the divine, the mystery, the Truth - which resides inside us and around us, in the everyday messiness of our lives and work.
Our current fast-paced, productivity-obsessed culture, has destroyed the sacred nature of our lives.
But the fact that we exist at all, is miraculous.
To have a body that allows us to feel and touch the world, and senses that allow the world to touch us back,
To have this brief time in embodied form, in which we can smell and taste, dream and create, love and be loved back,
It's all so improbable.
That you and I are here is so unlikely, and yet… here we are.
However, I know, if I’m not careful, I rush through these precious days.
I treat my time, my body, and my life-force energy as commodities… to be optimised, extracted from, exploited.
In the adrenaline-fuelled pursuit of an imagined ‘better’ future, the next achievement/goal or an idealised version of myself, I can often miss what I long for most: presence.
To actually be here, experiencing this, connecting with you and with life inside the mystery of it all.
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During the very early days of the 2020 Covid lockdowns, I was at the supermarket when I picked up someone's discarded shopping list.
It was a simple note.
In shaky handwriting it read: Bread. Beer. Toothpaste. Don’t forget, feet.
As I read it, something cracked open inside me. And I found myself standing in the cereal aisle with tears streaming down my face, unable to explain why.
Everything had suddenly become so achingly precious, and everyone in sight was utterly luminous. The whole supermarket took on a kind of pearlescent glow.
We all felt so fragile in that moment, our shared needs and longings so simple.
In this, the most mundane of settings, the precariousness and sheer miracle of our existence overcame me.
Through sobs, I tried to explain to my bewildered then-boyfriend, "This person <sob> has feet."
I can't articulate why this seemed so profound,
But I'm tearing up now as I recall it.
In the checkout line that day, everyone seemed to glow from the inside. And despite the enforced distances between us, I couldn’t really tell where I ended, and other people began.
Some people do Ayahuasca for this kind of Insight experience, but it really can happen in Aldi.
The sacred exists nowhere other than in the everyday: in the supermarket, in the workplace, in these imperfect bodies, in this imperfect moment.
Toxic patriarchal capitalism that has robbed us of this experience.
There are no unsacred places;
There are only sacred places
and desecrated places.
~ Wendell Berry
Toxic patriarchal capitalism has stripped the sacredness from our lives.
I know most of us ache for something more beautiful than the lifestyle we’ve been trained to accept.
A life beyond the hurried pace, the jangled nervous system, the packed schedules, and never-ending to-do lists.
Our culture has taught us to view ourselves as commodities.
Our time has become something to ‘spend’ or ‘waste’, our personalities something ‘to optimise’, we’re taught to treat our bodies like machines and undervalue our labour (our art/talents/life force energy).
Are we at risk of hacking ourselves out of our humanity?
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The Overfunctioning Trap
As women, (especially women with change-making, culture-shaping visions) we are particularly at risk:
We live within systems that undervalue us, and which train us to undervalue ourselves.
When we’re no longer in touch with the sacred value of our time, bodies, and labour, we can easily fall into ‘The Overfunctioning Trap’.
This happens when we interpret the experience of being treated as less valuable as though it’s a personal failing, and respond by unconsciously trying to prove our worth, and leads to chronically overfunctioning: overworking, over-extending and over-giving across all areas of our lives.
But it’s a trap, it’s a game we’ll never win.
The current system runs on us not being able to prove ourselves. It’s designed to keep us continually pushing ourselves further, working harder, life-hacking and optimising every aspect of ourselves more and more - so that it can squeeze more time, energy and labour from us.
If you’re anything like me, you’ll work so hard for so long that you’ll end up building a life that relies on your constant overfunctioning.
You’ll then blame yourself for your depletion and burnout, set about working hard to fix it … and so the cycle repeats.
The Overfunctioning Trap insidiously masquerades as virtue.
We are praised for our productivity, our ability to juggle multiple responsibilities, and our selflessness in always putting others first.
But at what cost?
And for whose benefit?
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Revaluing ourselves and re-evaluating our lives.
When we aren’t taught the value of our time, we fill every moment with activity, leaving no space for rest, reflection, or simply being. We say yes to every request and obligation, forgetting that each 'yes' to others frequently means saying 'no' to ourselves and our true desires/longings.
When we don’t recognise the true value of our bodies, we ignore signs of fatigue, stress, and illness. We treat our bodies like machines and push them to breaking point. We disconnect from our intuition, forget our deeper wisdom, lose our confidence.
And when we undervalue our labour (our gifts/skills/life-force) we give away our energy indiscriminately. We overdeliver at work, take on unpaid emotional labour in relationships, and exhaust ourselves trying to meet impossible standards of perfection in every area of our lives.
The result?
We end up depleted, resentful, and disconnected from our true essence.
We lose touch with who we are: our own needs, our genuine desires, and how we want our lives to feel.
And our contribution is less impactful, less inspired, less sustainable.
Your time is precious.
Your body is a miracle.
Your labour is a sacred offering.
Recognising this isn't selfish.
It's an honouring of the true nature of your existence.
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Softer, more sacred living: re-weaving the world.
At the heart of my work is this vision: That as women we reclaim the sacredness of our time, our bodies, and our labour, and in doing so we reshape this toxic system by modelling a more sacred way of being in the world; together re-imagining and reweaving a new culture that’s rooted in a deep reverence for the sacredness of every human life.
The reweaving begins in the mundane, ordinariness of our everyday lives...
I imagine a world where you embrace each day as a precious, unrepeatable gift. Where you approach your time with reverence, savouring the moments of your day and discerning over your diary commitments. In this world, you prioritise only what truly matters, your relationships deepen, and your life becomes a rich tapestry of meaningful experience. You’re unhurried, leisurely, imbued with ease and spaciousness.
I imagine you inhabiting your body with pleasure. You feel deeply rooted within yourself, relaxed. You honour your body’s innate wisdom, celebrating the legacies of strength and artistry passed down through your bloodlines. You listen attentively to your body's whispers, responding with attunement and care. You trust its signals and enjoy its possibilities.
I envision you doing your work - whether it's in an office, a studio, or your home - as a sacred offering to the world. Your efforts, big and small, are infused with purpose and passion. Creating becomes an act of love, caring for loved ones is a profound expression of connection, and contributing to your community is a source of deep fulfilment. In this vision, you know your worth, and what you bring to the collective. The value of your labour extends far beyond the financial, enriching your life and the lives of those around you.
In reclaiming the sacredness of our lives, we step into a more vibrant, connected, and purposeful way of being. We become fully present, deeply embodied, and meaningfully engaged in the world around us.
This is the path to a life lived with intention, joy, and a profound sense of peace.
It is also the basis from which we step into our truest expression of our gifts, embody our most inspired artistry, and become the most impactful leaders.
It’s how we’ll re-weave culture and re-shape the very systems that harm us, so that they recognise the worthiness of all lives.
We have to live our own way into it from the inside out.
One step at a time, remembering … we have feet!
Be beautiful on the way to the answer. That is the answer.
~ Martin Prechtel.
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How I can help you embody this approach:
"Rest and Receive" - a cozy six-week winter container for ambitious women who've worked hard all year and are longing to reconnect with what truly matters for 2025.
Through guided weekly practice and live 'wild idling' sessions, we'll create sacred space for you to exhale, process, contemplate, and access your deepest wisdom. No performance metrics, no optimization - just pure, nourishing restoration.
Experience a more relaxed festive season, and start 2025 replenished and reconnected.
Live sessions begin December 11th 2024, Tuesdays 5:30-7:00pm UK time.
All sessions: December: 11th & 18th, January: 8th, 15th & 22nd
→ Learn more about Rest and Receive
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Blessing the Body
by Jan Richardson
This blessing takes
one look at you
and all it can say is
holy.
Holy hands.
Holy face.
Holy feet.
Holy everything
in between.
Holy even in pain.
Holy even when weary.
In brokenness, holy.
In shame, holy still.
Holy in delight.
Holy in distress.
Holy when being born.
Holy when we lay it down
at the hour of our death.
So, friend,
open your eyes
(holy eyes).
For one moment
see what this blessing sees,
this blessing that knows
how you have been formed
and knit together
in wonder and
in love.
Welcome this blessing
that folds its hands
in prayer
when it meets you;
receive this blessing
that wants to kneel
in reverence
before you:
you who are
temple,
sanctuary,
home for God
in this world.
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Image by: Valeria November.
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