Reclaiming Holiday Rest: Let Go of the Christmas Overload and Reclaim Your Joy.
The Overwhelm of Holiday Shopping
Yesterday I found myself frozen and spinning-out in the middle of a busy, overly hot shopping centre.
The bright lights, Mariah Carey’s whistling tone and the endless Christmas displays suddenly felt a familiar kind of overwhelming.
I rarely stray into shopping like this … only at Christmas! (Sigh!)
I took a seat and watched the crowds rush past - mostly women, weighed down with bags, looking harried. Many were probably heading home to wrap presents late into the night, write cards, decorate the house, plan festive meals.
Suddenly it struck me - if Father Christmas was real, he'd be having a good laugh at our expense.
The Santa Myth: How Women's Work Goes Unrecognised
While women exhaust themselves creating all the festive magic: planning gatherings, wrapping presents, preparing festive food, maintaining family traditions, remembering everyone’s favourite things - an old white man swoops in at the last minute and takes all the credit.
Sound familiar?
It’s not just a Christmas thing. It’s a year-round pattern that plays out from breakfast tables to boardrooms.
Women do the invisible, thankless work of holding everything together, while men reap the recognition.
The Double Burden of Ambitious Women
And, for the ambitious women I work with - the CEOs, entrepreneurs, and creatives who are breaking barriers in their work—the story doesn’t end there.
Often, the more successful women become in their careers, the more they feel compelled to double down on being the perfect domestic goddess at home.
“Betty Crocker sh*t.” as one client calls it!
The more her career had taken off, the more guilt she had felt about her success.
In a 1:1 session she realised (with horror) that she’d absorbed the unconscious belief that her professional achievements needed to be “balanced out” by doubling down in traditional roles at home.
She’s a powerful, progressive, Feminist woman …
And yet, she’d started cooking more elaborate dishes, keeping a spotless house, and made every holiday picture-perfect—all while exhausting herself.
Another client, a tech founder, spent an entire weekend hand-painting ornaments for her kids’ school fundraiser, after a challenging week at work. “I feel like I have to make up for the time I’m not home,” she admitted. “I don’t want people to think I’m not present enough as a mum.”
The more ground they break in their work, the stronger the pull to prove they can still meet all the traditional expectations of femininity.
It’s an identity struggle that men simply do not experience.
The Invisible Mental Load of Christmas
The Christmas season amplifies the pressure to do it all—often invisibly.
Women carry the mental load and emotional labour of the holidays:
Remembering who likes white wine and who’s allergic to nuts.
Buying and wrapping gifts for everyone from grandparents to teachers.
Planning meals, coordinating travel, and ensuring the family traditions are upheld.
And yet, when the day comes, who’s the hero? Santa.
An old white man who does nothing but show up at the last minute with the gifts someone else (you) meticulously curated, wrapped, and labeled.
Christmas Magic is made from the unrecognised over-work and exhaustion of women.
Why Successful Women Feel Compelled to Overcompensate?
Why does breaking barriers in one area make us unconsciously cling to outdated roles in another?
Why do so many of us fight so hard against this kind of dynamic in our professional lives, only to buy into it at home?
For many, its guilt.
The narrative that a “good woman” is selfless, nurturing, and ever-present runs so deep.
Career success can feel like a betrayal of these ideals, especially when loved ones or cultural norms subtly reinforce the message:
Don’t let your work overshadow your family.
The result? Women overcompensate. They overwork, they over-give, they over-function.
They cook from scratch, curate perfect celebrations, and manage every detail of the holidays to prove that their ambition hasn’t come at the expense of their home lives.
But the pressure to “do it all” is a trap.
And it keeps women small, even as they achieve big things.
Breaking Free from Holiday Perfectionism
What if, instead of overcompensating, we challenged the idea that women must constantly prove their worth—at work, at home, and everywhere in between?
It’s cheesy - but what if we prioritised our presence over presents this year?
My Personal Journey to a Simpler Christmas
After my severe burnout and due to my (then undiagnosed neurodivergence) I was forced to simplify Christmas.
And I’m so glad I did.
I got super clear on what was important to me about this season.
How did I want to spend this time and with who?
Now, I buy a few presents, send even fewer cards, I say no to draining obligations, and let it all be imperfect.
At first, the guilt was crushing. I worried I was being selfish or letting people down, that I wasn’t being a good woman, that I was somehow failing.
But over the years, I discovered something transformative: space.
Space to actually enjoy the holiday.
Space to connect meaningfully with the people I love.
Space to savour the beauty of small moments.
The world didn’t end. Everyone adjusted just fine. And now Christmas is more peaceful and delicious for everyone around me.
Practical Steps for a More Restful Holiday Season
If you’re ready to reclaim your rest (and sanity) this holiday season, here are some simple ways to start:
Connect with what truly nourishes you
Take a moment to feel into your body. What would genuine rest look like for you this season? What activities actually fill you up rather than drain you? Start there.
Draw your energy back
Notice where you're over-giving or performing. Practice drawing your energy back to yourself, like gathering in scattered threads. What could you release or simplify?
Create containers for rest
Put rest in your diary first - before all the festivities and obligations. Treat it as sacred as any other commitment. Even 15 minutes of genuine rest can resource your whole system.
Share the load consciously
Have direct conversations about distributing holiday tasks. Be specific about what you need. When others step up - even imperfectly - resist the urge to take back control, and when they fail - don’t jump in to save the day.
Simplify, simplify, simplify
Whether it’s store-bought cookies or mismatched gift wrap, remember that perfection is unnecessary and overrated.
Redefine Success
Your presence is the real present. People want you—not perfectly tied ribbons or an elaborate meal.
Modelling a New Way Forward
By reclaiming rest this festive season, we're doing something deeply radical. We're challenging centuries of conditioning that tells us women exist to serve others' joy while sacrificing our own.
This feels particularly vital for those of us breaking barriers in our work. The pressure to compensate for our success by becoming domestic goddesses at home - that urge to prove ourselves through perfect presents and picture-perfect celebrations - it all stems from the same root: the belief that our worth comes from what we give, not who we are.
Each time we choose to rest instead of pushing through exhaustion, each time we say no to overwhelm, each time we put our needs at the centre of our choices - we're breaking ancient spells. We're showing that our worth isn't measured in perfectly wrapped presents or elaborate festive feasts. That we don't need to balance our professional achievements with domestic perfection.
We're creating a new story - one where women can feel fully alive during this magical time of year, where we can celebrate with our energy and spirits intact, where we can sink into the deep peace of winter rather than fighting against it.
And through our choices, we light the way for other women. We demonstrate that it's possible to lead and achieve greatly in our work while staying deeply connected to what truly matters. That we can be ambitious and successful without sacrificing our wellbeing on the altar of cultural expectations.
Want support in finding deeper peace and rest this holiday season?
Join me for Rest & Receive. Together we'll explore how to truly nourish ourselves through the darker months, unweave these cultural patterns of guilt and depletion, and create space for both deep peace and powerful action in 2025.
Nourishing Moments is my gift to you this Christmas - three free meditations to help you find calm amongst the chaos this festive season. Rest and find comfort in being with yourself, just as you are.
With love and gratitude,
Erika x
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